If you know me, or if you have ever seen any of my social media, you know I do a lot in my day. I'm a mom of two boys (2 and 6), a wife, a full time worker, an author, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a reader, and a lover of great television.
If you're here to find any hidden secrets to my juggling, I'm sorry, but you won't. I'm a hot mess. And not the sexy kind. I'm the hair in a bun, fluffy mom robe around my tank top and leggings, eating popcorn that falls down my shirt type mess.
The thing is every day I wake up. 5am. Do I want that extra hour of sleep the rest of my family gets? Sure do! But 5am my house is quiet. 5am is time to start my marketing. It's my posting on Instagram and Facebook, and not just for the sake of hoping for a book sale, but because I've genuinely connected with my online community. I've never felt so heard and seen than by the people that have befriended me on there.
That in no means takes away from my relationships with non-authors and non-bookstagram people. I love them differently. I have learned in the past year that it's okay to have layers.
Layers are like onions... haha just kidding. If you are a fan of Shrek or have a child in your house, you better have laughed at that.
But my layered friendship model is for another post. Right now I wanna talk about the daily struggle. The amount of time I think, "I wish there was just more time in the day". The amount that I wish I could survive off of 4 hours of sleep each night instead of 7.
The secret to my daily struggle is that every day its a different one. Every single day I wake up with what seems like hundreds of things to do. And every day I drop the ball. Every day, something gets missed. But you know what? That's okay.
I know every day that I'm not going to accomplish everything I want to. Some days I'm going to feel so accomplished as an author and proud of my word count. And that same day, I'm going to feel like a crappy mom because getting my word count in got in the way of time with the boys.
The days were work runs long because there was fires being put out, and I come home drained not wanting to lift a finger and I'm going to go to bed feeling like a crappy wife.
There will be days I choose being a good mom over everything. And as much as I wish I could say I chose that every day. I can't. (Though me and you may have different definitions of a good mom.)
The point is, every day is a trade off of one thing or another. And while we all wish that we could prioritize with the little things in life we are surely going to miss. We also have to be kind with ourselves. People that are burned out after work and just wanna come home and sit and watch TV. You are still a good parent. You are tired. It is normal. And it IS okay.
People who have second jobs whether to support their families or better their future, you got this! You are making it happen any way you can! Great job!
People who are surrounded by their kids all day and want desperately not to be just for a day, I have so much respect for what you do (And think you should write a blog on how the hell you do it, because...dang...your a hero).
Per usual for me and my talking, I got completely off track. But that's okay. It all needed to be said anyway.
Please know we are all trying, we are all struggling. You are not alone in how you feel.
After years of stepping away from my passion, I published my first book, and did it while working full time, being a mom, and being completely overwhelmed. I don't say that in a way to call out 'what's your excuse' mindset, because not everyone is as fortunate as me with their support team.
But I do say it as a way of encouragement.
What's your dream?